when i was a child i played outside. i would wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, put on my seafoam green, ultra short sports shorts, a shirt and no shoes and head out the door. i would magically reappear at lunch, ravenous from play. with my appetite sated, i would be back out the door, my mom telling me to be back before dark.
i would freely roam my familiar neighborhood. sometimes alone, sometimes with a pack of other urchin children. most times these hours of open abandon would be on (bare) foot, others on the back of my purple bike with the banana seat. there was little to no supervision, no boundaries, no limits to how far i could go. i just had to be home by dark. i remember it as a magical time. free and innocent.
this afternoon tim and i were sitting on the front porch watching my brother tim's (my brother and my husband are both "tim") kids and mara playing in the sandbox husband tim just made and set in our front yard. everyone was playing peacefully after being admonished gently to not dust sandy hands off over each others head.
i am embarrassed to say that we don't know our across the street neighbors very well. it is a rent house that has a pretty high turnover. normally tho, we do make it a point to be friendly with the people around us. so, as we are sitting on our porch preaching peace, here comes the across the street neighbor.
the reason for her visit was to report to us that she had been researching sex offenders in our town and wanted to let us know that we have several that live mere blocks from us. she even had a hand written list of the accused to prove her case. she said that she knew that our girls (referencing the twins) are always outside and that if it were her girls that were roaming the streets, she would want to know. we politely looked at her list, told her thanks for the information and that we would pass it on to the girls.
i am so not about fear. i am not about living in fear. i am not about putting fear into my children. i am about information. i am appreciative that my neighbor is concerned for the safety of the kids in our hood. i will remind the girls that there are people close by that could do harm to them. what i wont do it keep my kids in the house in an effort to protect them from the bad people. bad people could be anyone, not just the sex offenders. i wont scare my children out of their wits, making them completely phobic to come out from under our wing for fear of some horrible, terrible demise that must surely be awaiting them right out side our door.
talk to children. let them know that everyone is not kind. that everyone does not have their best interest at heart. that there are people out their who will hurt them. push play on "stranger danger" and rewind/repeat often. don't live in paranoia. with all the bad that is constantly thrown at us it is easy to forget all that is wonderful about our world. a world kids need to get out and live in. would i sanction kids leaving the morning with only "be back by dark" as their only guidance? no, probably not, but i am not going to over parent either.
